Jaxton Kimble

Jaxton Kimble

- making stuff and rambling about it -

Typos as Entertainment

Take, for example, the menu item I recently encountered: Fish Taco’s (3). Or is it a typo? Maybe it’s a secret, alternate marketing campaign.

I’m imagining another of SyFy’s B movie, myself. Ryan Gosling (it’s my pretend movie. I get to pick the eye candy) is Fish Taco, an aimless, young, fast food worker still living at home with his two fathers. There’s the gruff one, played by Jason Statham, and the civilized one, played by Daniel Craig (still my movie. Still my eye candy).

Times are tough. Daniel Craig dad has been unemployed since the corporate tech firm he worked for stole his patents out from under him. He continues to endeavor to complete his latest theories of sentient mathematics, but he’s been hitting his head against a wall for months. Then Jason Statham dad’s military benefits are cut off.

Fish sneaks in after a night of partying, using the window in Craig dad’s office. He bumps a table, where a rolling pencil makes a stray mark. The bit of math is what’s been missing all this time, and with a flash of light, a trio of sentient hypothetical equations emerge, capable of doing amazing things. The Parenthetical Three (their names are impossible to pronounce via human physiology, and Fish Taco has to call them something) help turn around the family’s fortunes, originally in secret, but inevitable twists occur:

The government finds out. It’s not a SyFy movie without governmental intervention. Do they want to experiment on the poor (3)? Turn them into a weapon? Maybe both?

The (3) weren’t the only thing to come through from their dimension, and after they’re captured, the unnoticed little stat sneaks along for the ride as Fish and his fathers, finally on the same page, resolve to go rescue the (3).

Between Statham dad’s military know-how and Craig dad’s scientific skills, our hard luck family frees the (3), just in time for the Final Showdown. One imagines a nuclear device will come into play, possibly co-opted by our villainous stat, possibly used in a characteristically poor bit of judgement by government officials that Makes Things Worse.

In any event, Fish Taco’s (3) save the day, showing everyone the importance of family and support and stuff. Also, hopefully, teaching Fish Taco that he totally needs a better nickname.

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